|
Rally of Bad beer and Tacos in Mexico
From : Speedy Gonzales and Bigga Gonads
To : Cat Terrist, Alliance Motorsport Lair of evil bunnies and purring kittens
Greetings Cat,
We are pleased to report we have successfully infiltrated the FIA's bunker that they have set up for the Rally of Mexico. While the guard dogs and barbed wire proved ot be little issue, the rabid FIA officials guarding Max Mosley's Golden Throneroom were a bit tricky, however we managed to escape detection with a well timed distraction – two scrutineers havign an arguments abut Section 5, item 12, paragraph 3 , line 4 of the clothing rules. something abut Petter Solberg using Danny Sord's balaclava as a bib while eating tacos and the resulting dribble attacking the cloth. A group of Confederation of Australian Motorsport overseers have also been disposed of with a well aimed AASA rulebook, which you must pass our thanks for to your technical guru, Mr Ed. AASA devices are proving most effective against anyone from CAMS we have the misfortune to come across, we even managed to put a CAMS lawyer into a coma with something called an “Insurance Policy”.
As much as we would continue to heap praise on Mr Ed and boffins of AASA, we have much to report and not all of it good. While it appears “Fun” has indeed invaded the WRC, the FIA are doing their best to stamp “Fun” out and also trying to destroy spectactor interest. They have even attempted to ban girls in skimpy clothing, which was clearly a step too far and ran afoul of local regulations.
As an aside, please inform Master Marcus that even he could get laid here and he might even find someone willing to do so for free of their own free will.
We are very concerned with the latest anti fun tatics of the FIA however. They have apparently seized several drivers and have subjected them to what they called “Special Renditions” or in plain English, illegal scientific experiments. We dont know exactly what these entail, but we have seen evidence of chemicals in pots bubbling away that are labelled “Hot Sauce” and smell very bad. Thomas the Pelican is in hosptal at present after his beak mlted just with the smell. He'll he fine after the beak reconstruction but still, we are concened. This is clearly a new method of torture that the FIA has come up with and we are not sure what they will do with it.
We have infiltrated the FIA kitchen at present and can report screams and howls of pain from behind a door called “Chief Steward”. They dragged in Gigi Galli, who a few minutes later ran out with a plume of fire coming from his nostrils.
Wait, we see something going on. We'll continue the report as soon as we can
Speedy
From : Cat Terrist
To : Mexico Infiltrator team
Your last report was very concerning and has been passed onto Andrew Crawford for dissemilation by the AASA boffins. At present we have no further instructions, but you are reminded to keep you real purpose hidden for as long as possible. We still think it was unwise for you to pick a Pelican for part of your team, dont you think they would stand out in a desert? Airbourne reconnisonce with Barney the Buzzard is however very appropriate and is noted for operations later.
It seems that Max Mosley has connections to BudgieCorp, so be extra careful. You know the resources those fiends have, do not risk a showdown with any avians not part of us. If it is true that the FIA and BudgieCorp are trying to take over NASCAR, then this will truly be the end of free motorsport and they of course must be stopped. I have gotten our comrades in arms to send backup and cheese sandwiches for Blind Freddy.
I'll expect an update after day one in complete. And for the Australian Rally fans, do we have any idea who will win?
Cat
From : Speedy
To : Cat (Personal)
Fifty bucks on Sebastian first, Mikko second and Petter third. Jari-Matti is really cool too, he's let me hide in hs kit bag so I reckon fourth for him. Atkinson has gone missing, presumed captured by the FIA so I cant say he'll start, let alone finish. And thaks for the cheese too. Much appreciated boss!
-------
So who wins? Who loses? Who will be dipped in the new FIA hot sauce and tortured? Stay tuned to the next episode of... Rally of Mexico!
|
Linear Mode
