Hey, there any more pictures? There were such a heap of cameras out there, but so few displaying their work....?
I saw Blacky had a gallery up, but so few others.
Now for an actual report. Please ntoe the coming posts were NOT written for BMSC, but for an audience unfamiliar to the event and rallying. And somewhat bluer than most reports too. And a HELL of a lot longer. Plus a bunch of people who know me so there's a few joke references some wont get.
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First there is this in 2005
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And then this....
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And then the report....
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The goonfamous Galant VR4's first event, 2005 Shakedown
Then we step forward a year and the addition of a grey bonnet, a host of lightweighting, plus WRC quality Proflex... and the addition of the Goon Service Crew with Hunter Devourer calling the notes...
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Still the picture of all my years from any event I've ever done I love the most. Also amazing to read the old thread and realise how many of the same cars come back year after year
And then 2007's thread I cant find so here's some pictures anyway
Lithgow 2007
Wow WTF, it happened in that event too? See later in thread for details
Win a cookie if you know about this VR4 and subsequent history
Then due to a planned trip I missed 2008 but went and took pictures anyway
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And then posted about 2009 in the More Subaru's than the works team thread...
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Lithgow 2009
So I like this event. It's resonably close to home, it's well run and pace notes rule.
Anyway so I expected this year would be like the last few - go up to a spectactor spot or go get accreditation, breathe a lot of dust and take a bunch of pictures to post and to sell to competitors or magazines, have a beer or two and then hike a lift home as I dont have a licence - runin with a unmarked at a "road works" that had no roadwork.
But then I found my suspension started two days after the event -And then the faint traces of a Bad Idea started to form. Of course the Bad Idea had a few problems in execution - namely no working car, no crew, no race licence (I had let it lapse) and not a lot of tiem to actually prepare and fix the 101 little things on the car I had let slide in the expectation I wasnt doing any events for some time.
That and I was a fat unfit ****.
Well I suppose the fat unfit **** bit was the harder issue to solve.... no, I simply decded to drown myself in sweat, iron and HIIT so it turned out to be the easiest one. Of course that didnt take like a week to lose 5 kgs and actually be able to run 4km without dyign due to lung imposion - but most nights here there I was busting my guts and being all W&W once again like I should be.
And then there's the car. All sitting in the carpark, tyres going flat and without turning a wheel for 4 months except to fix the rear wheel bearings that had fallen apart. Still had half ahandbrake, lots of rally bits being removed and ****, did it even start???? Let alone the issues of trailers, service cars and **** what the hell was I doing even thinking abut this ridulous ****, especially with clients going ass up and cashflow tighening, thanks to the GFC's effects still rippling on and unscrupulous competitors in the IT industry?
Somedays I rally would just love to simply go **** it and I dunno.... open a Christian sex store with an attached cat boarding business? You know, something that makes more than one kind of pussy purr.
And one that doesnt cater to Catholic preists.
So anyway, after musing on the moral and ethical boundaries a Christian sex store might have I actually went and found my spanners to fix the handbrake. And **** the asshole who decided a modern car should have a drum handbrake. Actually, **** drum brakes full stop and the apologists for this crap technology. Saying drums are cool is like saying banging choir boys is tops. Now on the off chance drums can be cool and choir boys are good to root, it still is about as wrong as cats thinking birdies arent crunchy.
And this is creepign the **** out of me so movign right along....
Still two weeks before the event, I'm more thinking that I'd be off takign pictures so a couple of events to "warm up" would be good. One on Rallyschool has already been posted a few weeks ago and then last week we had a Khanacross that KaptainBallistik decided to attend to do some tuning.
MCC Khanacross 11042010
And I woud like to now introduce the Gay Twink Cowboy
Who is so gay he bangs supermodels and spends half his life either working in such gay places as warehouses or the other half drinking every ****er under the able with three hot women off each arm before sleeping between two of them in a haze of sexual exhaustion. Theirs, not his.
Okay, I lied. The guy cant drink for ****.
Bastard still looks like gay cowboy, no matter which model he's sexing up this week.
So after Kaptainballistik takes home first prize and we visit the former rally beast that is slowly being resurrected, I am having some thoughts on this whole rally thing and licence suspension.
Me : So I will be walking next week
:v: Then do somethign beforehand!
Me : Like....?
:v: Pay the entry fee, have some fun!
Me : But there's so much to do and money to spend I cant spend....!
:v: Listen ****wit, this is your subconcious here. Do I have to grab that sensible and depressed bit of you and beat the **** out of it?
:saddowns: I'd like to see you try
:v: Allright! :****off:
Me : **** I feel all better already! Lets enter!
:v: I knew you would see the light. Now hurry up, entries closed two days ago
Entries beign closed was a touch of an issue I suppose. But hey, what's the harm in asking?
:phoneb: Hello Event Organiser?
:phone: Why hello there Marcus what do you wish? Like a stage to take pictures from?
:phoneb: Well.... no, I'd liek to enter please. But it's liek two days after en...
:phone: Hey no problem, give the event secretary an email, pay the money and have fun!
Oh.
So due to the miricle of technolgy, I get paid, email the event secretary and I'm in. With no working car, no crew, no accomodation and not a clue.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Monday morning.
A few calls the night before and we had Gay Cowboy taking a break from his schedule of banging models from FHM as service crew (that's a bad mental image), we had tow car, Hunter Devourer was going to take time from his busy schedule in ripping his enemies apart and feasting on their flesh to call the notes, KaptainBallistik taking a break from inventing a new bit of alchemy on his RX2 to also service plus MissJess as service Park manager.
Amongst all the things to get in order was my race licence. Now, I have a expired NR (National Rally) from CAMS (Conspiracy Against MotorSport) which was going to prove interesting to get in time, especially with the political battles I've been having against them as a representive of a club and the community.
20 minutes later I have a fax saying my licence is renewed.
So about 3:30pm, Gay Cowboy is at the office and we roll to where the car is, to begin the process of sorting the cobwebbed and dusty mess into a vaguely usable car. Pump the tyres up, compressed air to blast the layeered dirt out of the interior, check the suspension, start the car up (Jeez it didnt sound happy with a five month old tank of fuel) drive around the block, test the lights, test the brakes and get 6 + reverse gears.
Something is wrong here. Only thing not working is reverse lights. So we reinstall the intercom
We have never had a working set of lights, terratrip, intercom at the same time.
Seems suspiciously too easy so far. How could I possibly make it more difficult for myself I wonder? How about I go to the lockup and get the helmets and spare tyres?
Why look it's a barn find WRX
Genuinely not driven in a year and probably not going to be driven for at least two more - I really have too many WRX's. I suppose I should start it up again soon.
Spare rally tyres for a RX2, VR4 and a STI. I think at least 30 tyres...?
I really gotta throw some of the old carcasses out.
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Tuesday.
With a failure to get a regional scrutineer to see the car, I had to actually wash the bloody thing and do a bit more work to have it ready. Bit difficult with no hose but lots of buckets help. Accomodation found. Helmets retrived, race suits organised (That pissed me off, I specifically entered the lower level event to avoid apparel rules but they wanted to run the twin events as the one field so... we had to borrow a bunch of suits. ****) and few other detail bits like making sure my tools were in order and not gone walkies.
Inbetween all of that is a bunch of last minute fitness conditioning, based on trying to not throw up blood doing HIIT or drop 80kg bench press on my throat. The things I do to not be a fat bastard and to not gasp while going up a flight of steps. As a factual note, you do need a fair degree of fitness to drive competively. While being overweight and unfit is no impediment to competeing, the sheer fact that the last rallies I suffered a lot with heat and the pounding (not from the Gay Cowboy) of the roads, which probably lead to lapses of concentration and off road exursions doesnt help. 75 verses close to 90 kgs makes a bit of a difference too. At least I'd ****ing fit in the seat this time with 82 kgs and a fair bit more muscle rather than flabby deadweight.
Annnnyway.....
Wednesday
So we piss off to scrutineering, drop the car off the trailer, get the documentation done, wander in the workshop to perve at some of the weaponry there like this
And then it's our turn to be pointed and laughed at - Zero problems apart from the known reverse lights. WTF? You mean an early night after we dropped the car off?
Reversing camera amused the **** out of me
And then back in the office we have my desk
Suits, helmets and two bags of apparel and spare harnesses.
So what has gone wrong so far....? Suspiciously little. That wasnt a good sign, but that's for tomorrow