I think I know the problem with rallying today...

[Marcus]

Just something occurred to me when iw as looking at the sad, sad mess that is the VR4 these days...

There is a whole bunch of rollcage, seats, harnesses, equipment etc etc etc in the interior and while it's good for say driving really fast, it's not attractive for.... say having sex in.

Now it used to be that you would fund yourself an attractive co-driver and with any luck, break down in the middle of a stage. Then when the cold of the evening really sets in, things go as you would expect and before the service crew gets to you, you and your co-driver have ahd the time to have gotten hot and sweaty, had a smoke, get dressed and be innocently whistling as the service truck turns up.

But try doing that with the current monkey bar kind cages that infest the back seats of modern rally cars. You can barely get two cats to wail back there, let alone two consenting adults. I mean just HOW is anoyone goign to crawl in there and actually have space to DO anything? And if you did, wouldnt banging your head on the cage kinda break the romantic mood?

Yes I know you could say do it outside of the car. But for what it's worth it's not exactly romantic nor is the road or forest floor exactly safe from ants, spiders, pine need;es, feral cats, blood sucking leeches, termites, wood lice, bats crapping on you or the elements. And honestly, have you ever dropped pants in the middle of a Canberra inter? the male genitals will take one hint of that chilly air, scream AGGGGHHH!!!, hide and refuse to come out, no matter how hot your co-driver is.

And for the ladies, it's not exactly nice to have your bum on the cold steel of a rally car, no matter how studly your driver (or okay yes, co-driver too)

So this is clearly the issue I think we are most faced with. There is simply not enough sex in rallying and we need to fix this now. We need to homologate sex areas where two warm bodies can safely do the deed. we need to encourage hot women and hot men to our sport with SEX. And lots of it.

But that's not all. What about designated sex areas in service parks? And at control zones? what about a "quickie" area?

And what about nude spectacting? Why cant we have that?

I'm sure the prudes are going to be shocked, but lets face it. You know I'm right. We need more sex and we need it now.

(Not that I stand a chance. I wouldnt know what to do with a real live woman, even with a route chart)

[Kate]

Least you wern't sexist in your arguement! Sex in rallying...is that another CAMS issue!

[Stuart Walker]

I believe there's another ARCOM discussion early March; great opportunity to bring it up. I'm sure they'll waive some of the safety items for the "do it" aspect.

Cheers,

Linda

[legend]

Now come on Marcus. you know damn well that will never work for me. My co-driver and I are Married!!!!

[scully]

Originally Posted by legend

Now come on Marcus. you know damn well that will never work for me. My co-driver and I are Married!!!!

Clearly not for long.

[Jimmy]

If this gets up I'm definitely changing drivers.....

[Eco-velocity therapy]

Originally Posted by Marcus

Now it used to be that you would fund yourself an attractive co-driver and with any luck .....

See highlighted word. Marcus, please confirm whether this is a typo or not. It could make sense either way.

[Spac]

Originally Posted by Jimmy

If this gets up I'm definitely changing drivers.....

Geez, the puns are coming thick and... aw crap...

Let me try again: Lots of puns in this thread.

[Ric Cary]

Originally Posted by Marcus

There is a whole bunch of rollcage, seats, harnesses, equipment etc etc etc in the interior and while it's good for say driving really fast, it's not attractive for.... say having sex in.

Marcus
you are clearly a meat and potatoes kinda guy broaden your horizons my boy who knows what the possibilities are

Originally Posted by Marcus

And what about nude spectacting? Why cant we have that?

Marcus,
Nude and semi nude spectating has been around since the Chariot look further up the road you will be surprised what you see

[Kaptainballistik]

And I live in the same house as this guy

[legend]

Originally Posted by Ric Cary

Marcus
you are clearly a meat and potatoes kinda guy broaden your horizons my boy who knows what the possibilities are

Helmet sacks can double as Trapeze, I'm told. And all safety triangles should be attached to the car with handcuffs - its in the manual.

[Kaptainballistik]

So CAMS is going to allow no fixed back seats now? What Scully and Legend get up to I REALLY DONT WANT TO KNOW! LALALALALALALALALALALALALA ( or is that why he is called legend?????)

Well , There is nudity, but of the Male Variety normally so that doesnt count! ( for me at least....)

[Rus]

Originally Posted by Ric Cary

Marcus,
Nude and semi nude spectating has been around since the Chariot look further up the road you will be surprised what you see

Clearly Marcus needs to be properly introduced to Raymond Day or Nathan Senior

I like your hustle though Marcus, that's why it's been so hard to cut you from the team! You're ideas are great, now if you don't mind, I'm going to take them to CAMS and market them as my own.

[TCH]

In theory it sounds like a great idea, but can you imagine all the CAMS regulations that would be inflicted on us to ensure Safe Sex!!

[Rus]

Originally Posted by TCH

In theory it sounds like a great idea, but can you imagine all the CAMS regulations that would be inflicted on us to ensure Safe Sex!!

Not to mention making sense of the manual!