Merry Christmas Everyone!

[Rally Angel]

We hope everyone has a great Chrissy and an even better New Year! Lisi & Ethan

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a glass of red wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

[Rally Angel]

Woops - This was meant to go in 'Idle Torque'. Can the "Powers that Be" move it there? Ta!

[Matt]

Done. Merry Xmas to you(se) too!

[TKM]

Ditto

[Rallydat]

Thanks for the tips, Lisi. I'll start with a practice run at the work Chrissy party tommorrow.

[legend]

follow most of those principals all year round.

I certainly concur with the fruitcake sentiments though. manky stuff. just luck My mum makes the worlds best cheescake.

Merry Christmas everyone.

[moxo]

A Generation Next Christmas Poem

With Apologies to Andrew Patterson


I had written him a letter
Which I had, for want of better knowledge,
Sent to where my Mum said he lived
When I was a kid, so long ago.
He was generous as I remembered him
So I had another go at him
And asked him once again
For that Hornby set of trains.

And the answer came directed in a writing unexpected
(And I think the same was written with a reindeer antler dipped in tar)
T’was the chief helper who wrote it
And verbatim I will quote it;
“Santa’s gone on Christmas Holidays, and we don’t know where he are.”

I often think of Santa
And his shopping centre banter
“What do you want for Christmas little boy?”

His beard it felt like horse hair
And sometimes he wasn’t all there
(After all, he’s supposed to know whether you’ve been bad or good, so why does he always have to ask?)
But to a little kid that big fat gut
Was like a pillow to bounce on, no buts.

From year to year he seemed to change
Just a little, not a lot.
But to a child the whole World is strange
More often than not.

In my wild erratic fancy,
Visions come to me of Santy,
Squeezing down the chimeys and sneaking in the doors.
With gifts of all and sundry, for all kids rich and poor.

So Santa Claus, I still want that Hornby train set.
And the red bike with the sissy bar.
And the G I Joe action set.
And the bright blue model car.
And the Scalextric slot car set.
And the Sony Playstation game with the car.
And lots of other stuff, you bet!

[Marcus]

YouTube- Santa Claus Bailout Hearings

YouTube- Santa Claus Bailout Hearings

Even Santa's having hard times

[Chezsta]

Merry Christmas from the Tams Clan.. Wish you all a Safe & Fun day, enjoy it however you spend it and we hope Santa was good to everyone!!

[Linda Walker]

Likewise,

Merry Christmas to all! We hope you have a great Christmas, and that you all have a safe and prosperous 2009.

Cheers,

The Walkerz

[Matthew Ferguson]

May the big guy bring you all you racing desires.....

Heres a photo of him droping around our place this morning, he was out 'testing' santas new sled.......

merrry christmass one and all

[Art Clarke]

Merry Christmas to all, just don't make it too merry or don't drive!.

Lisi sure hasn't tried the fruit cake around here - a cup of rum (Inner Circle 58% only, thank you very much!) in each 3kg cake makes it pretty palatable to most everyone.

Art & Rosemary C